If Trees Could Talk…

the Ultimate Trail Experience

the Ultimate Trail Experience…

…oh what stories they would have to tell!
I just had a good laugh today.
Somewhere in one of the National Forests, where many a group of hikers or tourists has taken a trip up the trail, there is a tree who has heard it all.

When the Forest Service folks give wilderness backpackers a comment card to fill out after their camping trips, I bet they don’t expect these kind of answers.  But they DO get them!

A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call.

Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness.

I don’t think that’s exactly the kind of job that the Forest Service folks want to take on.

Please avoid building trails that go uphill.

That’s cause you’re in the mountains.  Go west, bud, go west!  It’s all flat out here.  You can hike for miles, and there’s still miles upon miles before you get to the other side of the horizon.

Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.

I have no words to say.

The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals.

Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands.

The places where trails do not exist are not well marked.

Escalators would help on steep uphill sections

Too many rocks in the mountains.

A McDonald’s would be nice at the trailhead.


“If ponies rode men and grass ate the cows…”

Some things are just a part of experiencing the wild and beautiful…things like bugs and rocks in the mountains and the absence of McDonalds.  There’s nothing like the calm and solitude of the wilderness, even with spiders and the occasional pickle thief.

Some of you are probably wondering what in the world this post is about.

Sometimes it’s just good to laugh.




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